Thursday, 22 May 2014

Swap Smoking for Sex.

Does less Smoking mean more Sex?

Buck Before Quitting

While many viewed the latest increase on a packet of Cigarettes to be extortion, over £7, it delighted my friend Buck who wished it was more. Deciding to quit the 40 a day habit, Buck now has so much excess money that he can afford to visit the local brothel almost every night.

‘Fucking sure beats coughing,’ he says. And when asked if he missed a satisfying smoke afterwards-he replied-‘Inhaling a breast inside your mouth is far more satisfying.’

While we all miss him in the local pub, we don't begrudge him his new lifestyle. If only I could join him! Unfortunately, I never opted to smoke. Had I done so, I too could have quit and found myself with lots of spare money. Buck suggested I start smoking now, he reasoned-‘Cigarettes will cost £20 a packet in a few years, people who quit then will be able to save an absolute fortune, possibly enough to live in a brothel permanently.’

Buck Without Cigarettes

Although not having a head for finances, I will have to give his words some thought; meanwhile, I'll stick with my right hand-at least there are no nicotine stains on it.

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